Most excellent news!!

I know I still need to update with the 6 month photos, but I just had time to add this, so it'll have to do for now!

If you haven't been reading my blog for the past 6 months & don't know about my miscarriages last year, you might want to go read my very first entry. That way you'll know what I'm talking about!!

During my 22 day juice fast, my main prayer was about pregnancy. I prayed that God would show us when to start trying again. And of course I pray that He will bless us with a successful pregnancy & that I'll never have another miscarriage. After going through the second miscarriage last year, we had intentionally not been allowing pregnancy to be a possibility. Now, this goes against our personal spiritual beliefs. Both of my daughters were planned. My pregnancies last year were surprises. It was lovely to not plan it all out, but, we felt like until whatever was wrong with me was fixed, it would be reckless to get pregnant again. The doctors said I most likely had a polyp, and it would require a saline ultrasound to diagnose it, and then a procedure to remove it.

Back to my 22 day fast... So I prayed that God would guide us, since a decision would have to be made to start trying again, or at least stop preventing, at the very least. Also, at one of the prayer meetings at the church that did the 22 day fast they had prayers for healing. I stood up, and I believed that I was healed, once and for all. The next week, they asked again for anyone who needed healing to come forward. For a split second I considered going. And then I heard in my mind: You're already healed. And in that moment I was so confident of that!

As soon as my fast ended, the very next day, Jan 31st, I told Greg that I had an incredible peace about trying right away, the next cycle. Our new health insurance was about to kick in Feb 1st, and my cycle was just starting.

4 days later my sister found out she was unexpectedly pregnant! Of course I was happy for her, but I was also attacked with the strangest doubts suddenly. It seemed like the enemy was filling my head with thoughts such as "you'll never have another successful pregnancy" and "God isn't going to bless you like that." I really prayed about this and struggled with these feelings. It totally caught me off guard that a blessing for someone else would cause me to doubt something that I had just felt such a peace and confidence about!! Of course, the enemy never attacks us in the way we think he will. It's always the last thing we expect. I was so confused! So, I talked with my friends about it, and my sister. I prayed for days.

That was one emotionally draining week! So draining that I had mentioned to Greg and my sister that I just didn't think I could have all these feelings resolved in time to try this month. I wanted to be completely at peace, and I wanted to be checked out by an OB for confirmation! I wanted to make sure we were doing things in His perfect timing, by His guidance. I wanted it all to be peaceful & perfect. When things didn't seem to be going that way, I was ready to wait longer. There's no way I want to be out of God's timing if I can help it!

By one week later, I felt like I was getting a grip on it all. On Tues Feb 12th, I felt this overwhelming need to surrender. To accept the blessings I have as enough. I had to accept that what I have is just right, perfect even. Not to mention of course that I don't even deserve the blessings that I have! I just knew, in my heart, that I must say to God, "I surrender. If you don't want me to have any more children, I will praise you anyway, love you anyway, and thank you for what I do have." It sounds silly, but this was a hard thing for me to say & mean it. I never take my blessings for granted, really. But I want more babies, and that's a strong feeling for me. I was having a terrible time accepting the idea that I might be done with pregnancies. It's so odd to me how when something is not in our control anyway, we have such a hard time admitting that! It's not like I could ever have more babies without it being in His plan, yet, I didn't want to take no for an answer. So I took something He already controls, and 'let' Him have control over it again. So ridiculous, and yet so human and normal. But, He honors that, cause I've done in other areas of my life & seen amazing blessings after 'giving' it back to Him. Thank you God for your grace & mercy!!

Of course, as soon as as I said those words of surrender, I felt such a peace again about trying this month (and just in time).

I called my OB the next day (our 6 month raw anniversary day!) and asked to get a saline ultrasound. Unbelievably, they had an opening the very next day, Valentine's Day! I asked them if they had anything later in the month- because I had resolved that there was no way I was going to be able to try in Feb, and to hear I needed to come in the next day just sounded crazy to me! They didn't have any other openings for Feb. WOW!

On the way to the appointment the song Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns came on the radio. Maybe you you know it, but I've heard it a hundred times & it spoke to me much differently that morning. You know how the enemy had been telling me since my sister's good news that I wasn't going be pregnant ever again, etc. Here are a few lyrics of the song:
"But the giant's calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
"Boy you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth"

The glory part - I had always said that, that whatever was wrong with me was being healed this past 6 months & it was going to be for His glory somehow. I felt very comforted by that song at that moment, and was in tears.

So, first the ultrasound tech did a normal internal ultrasound. And she said things still looked weird to her, and left to get the OB so we could move on to the saline part of the exam. I prayed and told God that I knew everything was alright. No matter what, I knew He was in control & everything was ok. That I believed I was healed. As I was saying this prayer, I had my hand lifted up slightly, because I truly could feel Jesus with me right then and there in that room, holding my hand. I was so calm & felt such peace!

So, the OB came in and did the saline part. They put the saline solution through a tiny catheter inside to open up the uterus. Then, they can see if a polyp is there because it it's more visible that way. It's not a super comfy procedure, but not super painful either.

Turns out they saw absolutely nothing unusual in the saline ultrasound! Whatever it was that caused my miscarriages last year, is gone! That's nothing short of miraculous folks!! Now, of course, I never had a true diagnosis of a polyp. It was their best guess last year and I didn't have health insurance to be able to get the saline ultrasound back then. We didn't want a true diagnosis anyway, or it would have been a pre-existing condition when I did get health insurance. So it's not a medically documented healing. But I know something was wrong & I know whatever it was, it's gone! I know it was healed over these past 6 months of 100% raw foods! When they left the room I literally jumped up and down praising God! And saying Happy 6 month Anniversary & Happy Valentine's Day!! :o)

Oh, and they could tell that the egg hadn't released yet & gave me an idea of when to try (which was the next 2 or 3 days, which is when I had originally planned to try anyhow back 2 weeks before)! I was so thrilled that it was all good news! And so very thankful.

Just a few days before the exam, I was saying how there was no way God could resolve all these issues in one short week, because I had already estimated that we needed to be trying for baby from the 15th to the 17th. And each day of the week He worked something else out for me. Even the ultrasound appointment! Amazing!!

I'm in awe, once again. It all happened in precise timing! Then, Sunday I was sick as a dog, no more trying for baby! There was a window, and that's all we had. It was perfect! And if I don't get pregnant yet (should know in a few days), I'm going to be ok with that. I've made my mind up. ;o)

God gave me a peace about when to start trying. The enemy tried to get me out of God's timing, and while I was ready to wait if God said so, I just prayed even more fervently about it all! And the Lord worked it all out. We ended up going forward in His timing after all. Even when it seemed like there was no way it would all work out in time!

I know this ended up being a very long entry! But I hope everyone realizes how monumental this is for us! I just can't even find enough words to describe how important it all is. Praise God!!

Many apologies for the delay

Where to begin?! Well, just in time for our 6 month raw anniversary, our internet connection was down for 2 days! That figures!!

Then, I got very sick and the next morning my youngest daughter got sick as well. We're still ridiculously ill. Fevers, chills, body aches, head aches, nausea, dizziness, extreme exhaustion, coughs, sore throat, and terrible congestion. My youngest hasn't been awake more than 2 hours in 3 days. Today my older daughter has finally come down with it. We caught it from my sister & her kids. The pediatrician told her it sounds like the flu. I don't think I've ever really had the flu before. I'm praying Greg doesn't get it. I don't think anyone could work with this illness, it's completely knocked us out of commission. I'm still in shock at how terrible we feel. My poor sister & her little ones are still feeling bad, so this doesn't go away quickly either, they had it 2 days before I got it.

So, bottom line, I haven't been able to sit here at the computer to update! I get dizzy, weak & nauseas every time I get up, or, well... do anything at all. I forced myself to send 3 emails, do this quick post, and wash a few dishes. That's the most activity I've been able to endure since Sat night!

Anyway, we did weigh in & we did take photos on the 13th. I just need to feel better so I can do the cropping type photo stuff and get it all online. That takes a little while. And to top it all off, I had some wonderful news on the 14th that totally relates to God's power, miracles, the raw lifestyle, improved health, and my very first post on this blog. I wanted so badly to post it right away with the 6 month stats, I mean it was just perfect timing! And then all this! But I'm telling you, it's amazing, truly praiseworthy news, folks! No...I'm not pregnant! ;o)

I figure if I could make myself spend a little time at the computer today, tomorrow should be even better, right?! So, I'll update as soon as possible, and I apologize for the delay!!

Oh, and I don't know how to do the photos from here on out! There's so many now. Any thoughts? Should I keep all the months together at each month's update, or just do a before shot and current shot from here on out? Ideas?

End of the fast!

So last night was the breaking of our fast! I had only fresh raw juices and water for 22 days, and Greg had days of the same mixed with days of only fruits & veggies. It was interesting to eat last night! After 3 weeks of nothing solid, it was odd! I has soaked prunes, so nothing too delicious! LOL! But I wanted to make sure my digestive system didn't revolt! I also had a bit of warmed miso broth, my first try at that. Today I haven't eaten yet, but I don't usually eat until early afternoon anyway. I plan to take it easy though, I don't want to send my body into shock! I have some more soaked prunes, so I'll start with that & then a simple green smoothie with a smidge of coconut oil. :o) Greg's transition isn't as slow, but he ate during the 22 days! Now he can add in olives & nuts again, as well as raw recipes! :o)

I released 10 pounds during the fast, and I'm cautious too eat many nuts and oils since I don't want to put much of it back on! I just need to take it slowly is all. I'll be back to eating any yummy raw creation I can think of in no time!! So, I did make it below 200 pounds!! WooHoo!! This morning I weighed in at 191! Greg released 5 pounds during the fast, and a bit more at the beginning of the month.

So, the fast itself was amazing! We had extra church services filled with a lot of prayer. It was great. When you sacrifice your flesh (not eating, or giving up something you enjoy) and let your spirit lead, it's really cool! It allows you to really get closer to God and for Him to draw closer to you. It doesn't get any better than that!!

5 months raw!!!!

Has it really been 5 months already? My goodness. Time flies when you're having fun!! We're feeling great! It's day 6 of our fast. I'm doing a 22 day juice & water fast, Greg is doing 22 days of fasting but he's alternating days of only juices & water with days of only fruits & veggies. So far we've really been enjoying it. Especially on a spiritual level. It's a bonus to know it's great for our health as well!

So, the 5 month stats! Yay!!

Greg now weighs 165 pounds! Woah!! He released 13 pounds this past month. His grand total is 75 pounds released so far in the last 5 months!! :o) He's gone from a size 40 pants to a 34 (which are now getting baggy).

I now weigh 201 pounds - I released 14 pounds this month. My grand total is 68 pounds released in the last 5 months!! :o) I've gone from a size 24 to a size 16! I fit in size XL shirts! I'll never need to shop in the plus size section again!!! I've lost 8 inches this past month for a total of 59 inches total.

Maybe someday soon some of those inches will come from my upper arms! I keep hoping those will change, perhaps that's one of the last things to lose? When I see before and after photos I always check double chins and upper arms. ;o) My neck is looking better than I had thought it would, and I'm thrilled to have a neck now! But the upper arms are a concern!

And I have to mention my weight being 201 pounds! I can't wait to get below 200! I was SO hoping I would do it by 5 months. But I know it's coming soon! In January of 2006 I weighed 296 pounds, so I'm very close to 100 pounds released from my highest weight 2 years ago. WooHoo!

To everyone who's been keeping up with our progress, and sending messages & leaving comments- We both want to say, thank you so much for your encouragement! The support we've received from all of you is incredible & we truly appreciate it!

Here are the photos. I didn't have any shirts that weren't baggy, but it was the best I could do!

2008!

Wow, where has the time gone? I know I should pop in here more often to update! I apologize to anyone who might be disappointed when they don't see a recent post. I know I feel that way when I peruse the blogs I like! I'm a busy mama though, doing my best!! :o)

So, we made it through the holidays! Or first season of holidays 100% raw. Yay! I t feels like this big accomplishment! LOL! I loved it, but Greg felt sentimental about missing the traditional foods part of celebrations.

I know some members of my family also felt a bit "robbed", like they couldn't fully enjoy times with us because we weren't sharing the same foods. I'm not saying that's right, or wrong. Just being honest. On that same wavelength, Greg said he sometimes feels isolated, like he can't participate in stuff with buddies because so much is centered around food.

For instance, if your a vegetarian, chances are if you go out with your friends, there's an option at the restaurant for you. If your an alcoholic and all your friends want to hang out in a bar, you can order club soda. Not the easiest thing, I'm sure, but the option is there. That's probably a poor example. For us, we can order a salad at a restaurant, but only if we bring our own dressing or just squeeze lemon on it. And we're not at the point of enjoying greens and lemon juice yet. :op So it's not anything spontaneous. Like hanging out after work one night. And it doesn't make anyone feel comfortable when we sit there with an empty place setting. No matter how positive our attitudes are, it makes others feel uncomfortable. Anyway, I just thought Id' throw that out there in the spirit of full disclosure since I haven't put a lot out there about the struggles associated with this lifestyle. Honestly, we haven't had too many struggles, but these issues do come up.

Here's my take. If the people that love us truly love us, and they do- then they enjoy our company, not just the fact that we would all eat the same food. But this year, for the holidays, Greg felt like he would spend way too much time feeling sad about the foods he loved in the past but is choosing not to eat now. So instead of enjoying the festivities, he would be having an inner struggle of why he wants those foods versus why he's chosen not to eat them. Basically, just being a downer and not having much fun himself. Thankfully, I haven't had this struggle. It's like God just took all of that from me, and I thank Him for that. I'm not sure how strong I could be in the face of the temptations if they were still tempting to me. I could have smelled the ham and sweet potatoes and apple pie and not be phased by it. I still can' believe that's true, but it has been so far, praise God! I mean I was addicted folks, really addicted to junk, and just SAD foods in general. I guess the good Lord knew I needed those chains broken so I could succeed at this. I admire Greg so much, because he still wants those foods, even though he was never addicted to them. He's confronted with temptation more than I am on a daily basis, and he's still 100% successful at this! That's amazing! And he'll tell you, it's God that gets the glory for that as well. When Greg is weak, God is stronger! We're doing this in obedience to Him and He has blessed the journey!

Now, don't misunderstand- we had a wonderful holiday season, really. But with it being our first one raw, it was an adjustment. That's all. Still joyful & we really focused on the true reason for the season. It wasn't awful, there were no tears, or hurt feelings. I don't mean to make it sound like that at all. It 's just that the holidays are such a ingrained thing in most of us, since childhood, and this was very different than the past 30 something years!

So next year, I really hope Greg has come to point where he won't feel sad about what he won't be eating. That way we can be with family while they're eating & really enjoy our own food, and enjoy the fellowship!! I'm praying that this happens! And that my girls won't sit there asking for every bit of "junk food" available in front of others who have that look on their face like we're depriving our children of so much just by telling them no, that's not very healthy. Like giving them nasty junk foods is a great thing!? Ugh! But that's a whole 'nuther post! :o) LOL!

Anyway- tomorrow begins our 21 day fast! We attend 2 churches, and one of them does this each year in January! We're so excited to join in!! Amazing things can happen when you're fasting and praying like that! I'm buying an inexpensive juicer tonight in order to make it a true juice fast the raw way!! Our first ever. Lots of church members are fasting on fruits and veggies, but- that's our daily diet! LOL! So smoothie fasting was an idea, but I'd much rather juice fast. I've heard excellent things about it . I kept hoping I could afford the juicer I really want and spent so much time researching. However, I have a $50 budget if I want to actually afford all the produce that would go into the juicer over 21 days!!! Wish us luck! We're expecting miracles!!

So I'll close with the family Christmas pic of this year! Happy New Year everyone!!!! Peace & love to all!
And I'll add a family picture from May 7 2005 for comparison. 2 1/2 years ago, what a difference! I was even larger than when I started the raw food lifestyle 5 months ago. I believe I was around 290 pounds or so. UGH!

The Concert!

I can't believe I forgot to post about the concert before I posted about the Christmas Party! LOL! We went to the greatest concert I've ever attended last Thursday night. It was awesome!!! And it felt SO great to jump around without being 50 pounds heavier! And my feet never did start hurting. Wow. So we got to see Storyside B, who's local, but now they're big famous stars in the Cristian music scene. We also got to see Sanctus Real, Aaron Shust (LOVE him), and Toby Mac. Seriously, we had the most incredible time!!! It was Toby Mac's Winter Wonder-Slam tour. Greg likes Aarron Shust as well and he's a huge Toby Mac fan. So he was having so much fun! Delaney went with us and knew over half the songs! :o) She had a blast too! They even sang a few Christmas songs!! Here's some pics, although fuzzy since they were taken with the camera phone. ;o)


Here's my lovely little sister and I

Here's Aaron Shust signing an autograph. We were next, so Delaney now has an autographed framed picture of him in the playroom!
And here we are with him!!! He's amazing!
So, bottom line, we got to see 4 wonderful musicians/groups in one night & we were right up front jamming and worshiping God for about 3 hours! It was so awesome!!! I wish we could do something like that every week!

A Christmas party

Greg had his company Christmas party last night & it was such fun! We got to buy new clothes to get dressy & even posed for pictures when we dropped the girls off at my sister's house! What a blast!! The company Greg works for is just phenomenal! He couldn't ask for a better job, boss, or group of people to work with. It was so amazing to be able to see that first hand last night!

We were able to get a bit of salad from the buffet line & some fresh fruit from the dessert area. When we returned to our seats we saw that they had a special plate of fresh raw vegetables just for the two of us. A huge plate of red, yellow, and green bell pepper spears, yellow squash spears, and zucchini spears, along with carrot sticks, the freshest broccoli I've ever seen and grape tomatoes! It was laid out on an oval plate like fireworks! One plate for each of us! It was gorgeous! And we were so full we couldn't finish it all! The cooked food buffet was very nice, and we could tell it was gourmet, but we didn't feel deprived at all. They were so thoughtful and kind to do that for us! I usually don't like being singled out for anything, but I just put a positive mental spin on it & looked at it the way they intended it. Which of course was as a nice gesture to make sure we felt included. It really was appreciated, let me tell you!!

What else was wonderful is that no one seemed to feel that food was the point of the evening. So many times the celebrations in our society are all about the food. This was really about celebrating and getting to know the spouses of the co-workers and all that. The food was like an afterthought. And I could tell it wasn't just Greg & I that felt that way. Everyone was having a great time & oh yeah, there's food as well. I loved that!!

Did I mention that I wasn't nervous about my size and appearance walking into that group of strangers? Did I mention that I was not the biggest girl there? Did I mention that my shyness was kept reasonably in check and I was more friendly than quiet? Did I mention that I glanced at a mirror at one point and saw myself at a side view and I didn't feel anything? I just glanced at myself and got back to listening to whoever was talking. I didn't dwell on anything bulging out, or start sucking anything in. I didn't think some terrible negative thought about myself. Now, I didn't feel any great thought either (like- oh look at me, aren't I getting cute) I'm not sure I'll ever be like that! Actually, I hope I never get like that. ;o) But I was content to just not have a thought! To concentrate on everything else but myself, positive or negative. I think this paragraph describes a breakthrough ladies & gentlemen!!!!!! Yes indeed! YAY!

Oh, on another note- Greg has a new work wardrobe! He finally had to get new pants. He was wearing a 40 waist all this time & when we went to see what size to buy and he began trying them on, we were shocked to find out he's now a 34 waist! No wonder those pants were looking so baggy! I think he knew he needed new ones, but with money always being tight, he just overlooked it. Whereas I had hand-me-downs around from generous friends & family and I could just try on a new size any time I felt the need. So next, we have to find Greg some new casual pants, like jeans! We did get him a sweater, a long sleeved shirt, and 2 polo shirts. All those can be work or casual. And of course he has one dress up outfit now! ;o)

4 months raw!!!!

WooHoo! We've been 100% raw 4 months! I'm so excited!

There's not a drastic change this month, but there are differences. It's like our bodies slowed down a little on the weight loss, but changes are still happening. For instance, my clothes fit looser enough to need a smaller size, even though the weight didn't drop dramatically in the last 30 days. And of course we're feeling very healthy! I've been tired lately, which I attribute to not eating nearly enough. I've already begun correcting that!

Greg now weighs 178 pounds, he released 7 pounds this past month for a grand total of 62 pounds so far in 4 months!! :o)
I now weigh 215 pounds and I released 7 pounds this month for a grand total of 54 pounds down so far!! :o) I'm down 5.25 inches during last month for a total of 51 inches!!

We're both filled with gratitude that God brought us to this path and has blessed this journey so abundantly. It's truly amazing, and we're really enjoying this transformation, inside & out. It feels wonderful to be lined up in obedience with what He wants us to be doing!








I also wanted to say that we've had to stop all junk food for the kids. We were letting them eat cheese pizza during parties, and goldfish crackers at church, cake at parties, etc. But, it's gotten very hard to help them understand our conviction while at the same time continually compromising. So, they are allowed to have cooked vegan foods once, sometimes twice a week. So far that's been like a wrap at our health food store each Saturday, and maybe some plain brown rice while there. When we go out on our date night every other Friday night, they have cooked veggies with sea salt. Other than these exceptions, they're all raw. Amazingly, it's been easier to handle it this way, than when they were eating raw mostly and then eating junk here and there. Even our 3 year old hands out any candy they give her in her Sunday School class to other kids. It seems like having the clear guidelines made it simpler for them to get used to! It's been so harmonious, I'm glad we tried it the more relaxed way, but I'm very thankful we've progressed to this instead, as it works much better for our kids!

Another birthday!

Here's the pics of my oldest daughter's birthday cakes! The first is a raw chocolate torte, which I bought from the closest raw restaurant. It was $60!!! It has some chili powder in it for a very yummy flavor combination. Good thing I made another "cake" though as some folks didn't care for the chili powder. She decorated the torte herself!!
This one is a double recipe of Raw Priestess's brownies shaped into a circle with Erin's store bought frosting times 5, since the recipe is for a tiny amount.
So all the guests said they liked my younger daughter's cake better last month!!!!! What? That torte cost $60! The brownies were quick and easy and not nearly as expensive. But wow. I never expected them to like the strawberry almond one better. I guess I really was the only one who didn't enjoy it! Greg LOVED this birthday much more because he is a chocolate freak!

But my precious 6 year old was happy though & she enjoyed her 2 cakes. ;o) As well as leftovers for 2 more days! So she was NOT disappointed and that was SO important to me. I didn't want to let her down.

And how in the world did she get to be 6 anyway? My heart hurts if I think too long about it. Incredible.

Our first raw Thanksgiving!

Our breakfast fruit salad. :o) We ate this during the Macy's parade. The ingredients were my oldest daughter's idea, except the pomegranate, that was my addition.
Marinated portabello mushrooms! YUM!
The cranberry salad from Alissa's book p298
Marinated crimini mushrooms for the kids.
Alissa's mock turkey loaf with the sauce on the side. p 393 YUM!
Maraw's southern corn nut dressing. This was everyone's favorite!!
Maraw's pumpkin pie. This was yummier than any cooked pumpkin pie, seriously!

It was a success! Our first holiday without the traditional dead food! Freedom!!!!!