Things are going well. :o) The thought of certain raw fruits are not as repulsive as they were. Like grapes, strawberries, and cantaloupe. I knew my body would come back around! I feel like I could be ready to try a green smoothie sometime soon as well, just not yet.
I began taking FloraVital iron supplement (the yeast free version of Floradix) last Saturday. After one week & 2 days I'm surprised at how much the dizziness and weakness has subsided! That didn't go away when I started eating cooked foods. I did not have any blood tests, so I don't know for certain that I was anemic, but several rawbies that I trust mentioned a strong correlation between morning sickness and anemia. I have a history of being anemic, so I felt prompted to get that supplement.
I also realized just 3 days ago that if I eat something with protein every three hours I can really cut down on the severe nausea. I still feel generally nauseas most of the time, but if I let myself get hungry, I have to go lay down, or sit down & I'm just done. I get very weak & feel like I can't stand. At that point, I pretty much have to wait for food to be brought to me! How ridiculous! But really, I feel like I just can't do anything at that point. It would almost be better if I actually threw up at these times, if that would help me feel better long enough to make some food! I'm glad I figured out the three hour thing, now I can stay on top of it. The past couple of weeks if we're all out at church functions, or shopping, etc I'll look at Greg and say "I'm getting hungry" and he immediately goes into food find mode! He knows what's coming! Lol. Now, finding snacks & meals with that much protein (that sounds appetizing) is a challenge. Especially on our budget!!
I have had an unbelievable appetite as well. I'm not sure if I mentioned that in my last post. But for my 7 months raw I had a very small appetite. My very first cooked meal, that baked potato that I had- I ate the entire thing (it was huge) and could have eaten more. After 4 days of not being able to keep anything but apple & watermelon down that really surprised me. I would have thought my stomach had shrunk a bit while eating raw. But since that very first cooked meal, I've been eating normal portions in one sitting & sometimes getting more. It's shocking to me. Really. I haven't "overdone" it, but it just surprises me after going so long on such light food.
I know I've gained weight these last couple weeks. I'm trying hard not to let that bother me. When I was pregnant with my girls I didn't let weight gain or loss get to me. But I was very overweight through both of those pregnancies. At least 250 pounds. What I felt back then was that my body was finally doing something right, something amazing! And there weren't many size or shape changes early on because of all the extra weight I was carrying. This time, I find myself very preoccupied with my shape and size. I've gotten very bloated I've gained 10 pounds! It's also my third baby, so I know I've started showing already, but it's mostly bloat. And maybe some of that 10 pounds is water weight. I need to not dwell on it. It's truly is a new experience for me though, actually finding myself concerned about this during pregnancy, and seeing changes so early on!
It seems to be part of an identity crisis I'm experiencing. It's not a true "crisis", just an odd thing to be going through. I'll just spill this out real quick- In the past three months or so my hair has really changed. I've lost about half of it. I always had super thick hair. It sounds silly, but I don't really feel like me without my hair! It seemed to happen when I died it darker. I had been getting highlights to hide my gray hairs and I couldn't afford that anymore. Since using the die from the box, my hair has gradually gotten very thin & the ends are frizzy & curly. So odd. I don't know if the die did it, the rapid weight loss (which seemed steady and safe honestly), or if it could be a deficiency. It's not the pregnancy, since it started before that, but it might make it worse.
Also, the weight loss itself seemed so out of my control. I never exercised, so I didn't make an effort to work on a certain area. Where the weight came off and when was anyone's guess. The last 11 pounds that I lost, when I had the flu, made a bigger difference than you would think. All of the sudden, several places were really saggy. And my knees were bony enough that I had to sleep with a pillow between them. I was waking myself up all night when them knocking each other, it hurt! My dad said he no longer recognized me, even though he sees me weekly and saw the weigh come off gradually. My face looked, and still looks different than it ever has. I'm sure this happens to women who've been overweight for a decade or more. Especially since my early adulthood was spent obese. Everyone looks different in their 30's than form when they were in high school. The last time I was a normal weight was high school.
But anyway- I had been obese & morbidly obese for years. I'm 32 and I was larger than I am now on my wedding day 12 years ago. So that was pretty much my mental size & shape. You know, how you can be very large but when you imagine yourself, or even dream sometimes, you're still small? I had kind of moved past that. Which means my current, still overweight, but no longer morbidly obese body is the new image to get used to. I started eating cooked foods on a Friday. The next day we went to a restaurant for vegetarian burritos. When we got home I literally just sat and stared at myself in the mirror for several minutes. Greg asked what was going on. And it was like, I am this new person- a raw vegan. So different than I was. And I had just taken this new person to a place the old person would have gone to. The new person didn't drink soda, or the huge meaty burrito, but it still created this weird identity issue. I'm still dealing with it obviously, with the hair, the face, the saggy skin, and now the shape changes. I just don't feel like me. I think prayer is the best way to resolve it. I just need to find some quiet time to get still and talk this over with God, you know?!
Well, I really rambled on there!! I hope I made sense, this is new to me & a little hard to explain! Time to go eat... again!
