Here's my little 2 month old! :o) Oh, he's so precious!!! Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Life has been hectic! Quinn is delightful, and a really good little guy! He's amazingly low maintenance and pretty laid back. :o) But with home schooling and trying to get stuff done during his naps, time just flies by. I'm lucky to get a shower every other day! Ha! Wow, I can't even believe it's been two months!
I have not gone back to raw. It makes me very sad, but I guess I was so sick when I left the raw path that even thinking about those types of foods makes me feel ill even now. The only thing that sounds good are green smoothies (but I haven't made one, it just sounds like I might be able to stomach it), cantaloupe, watermelon, and pineapple. :o( I feel absolutely no conviction at all about going back to raw. That surprises me! I thought I would jump right back into it. ???
Besides life being busy, I haven't really wanted to put myself out here again given my current weight & un-rawness. I mean, I'm far from radiantly raw right now! So I guess I've been hiding in a way. Taking the easy way out and just avoiding my blog.
I gained a LOT of weight during the pregnancy, and now, with Quinn being 9 weeks old today, I feel like I can talk about my disappointment with that. I truly don't want to take away from the bliss I feel from his birth, and from the pregnancy in general though. I'm so incredibly blessed and feel so much gratitude! However, I just feel like the weight thing was out of my control, and I didn't like feeling that way. I didn't like worrying about it during the pregnancy. I didn't go overboard, but the weight just came back steadily regardless.
None of my shirts fit me at all! I've been staying home because I gave away all of my larger sized clothes as I lost weight because I was determined to never be back at this size!
I currently weigh 260 pounds. That's only 5 pounds shy of when I started my raw journey. :o( I fit perfectly into my "before" pants in my pictures. Ugh. Greg weighs 218. There are no words to express how I feel about this. Just... well, no words.... Thinking about it makes me really sad. Not thinking about it makes me feel like I'm in denial and not being fully present.
I've been praying about where to go from here. I want to be healthy, and I felt better when I was thinner. And I want to make sure that I haven't undone the healing that was done in my body during my 7 months raw. I never did get to my goal weight, but I felt better at 185 than I do right now. I just don't want to be obsessed with it. I have this great little guy to enjoy, and they're only tiny & squishy once! I want to focus on my kids, and enjoy them- not worry about food all day long. But, I don't want to just stay at this level either.
Anyway, there's my story. Thank you for keeping up with my life! I'm really hoping I get a clue soon about what's next!
10 comments:
Oooh (((hugs))) I'm so excited to see you post again and see more pics of beautiful little Quinn. What a doll!
Just keep praying and doing your best, you said it right...the babes are only little once and that is your focus. Try to make your good choices one choice at a time, I'm struggling with that too.
Hang in there, no matter what size you are your an amazing woman! And keep blogging too, we miss you!!!!
Oh my goodness! Isn't he just precious!!!
So glad you posted, Resa.
I was worried that something was wrong.
Thankfully, everything sounds sooooo perfect! Enjoy your children, they grow up way to fast.
I mourn my sons' childhood everyday and have really struggled with some depression since he turned 18 (last July). It just went way to fast!
Love you tons, Christine
Ricki, taking it one choice at a time fits well with where I'm at right now. Thanks for that nugget of wisdom! I wish it weren't such a struggle. You're SO amazing as well, & I admire you so much- it means a lot to me to have your encouragement!
Christine, your comment brought tears to my eyes.((hugs)) I can feel it going by so quickly. I have felt it in a very tangible way since my first little one was only days old. Time is bittersweet, that's for sure. Sorry to have made you worry. I only posted at all because you were concerned! I love ya back! :o)
Resa, so glad you updated. I check in everyday. First of all, Quinn is gorgeous! You are a very lucky woman. Second of all, I was totally where you are when I got pregnant. I had lost a bunch of weight and was feeling great and then the next thing I know I'm back up to within 2 lbs of my heaviest. Who knows how it happened but it did. Try not to beat yourself up. Life happens. And like Ricki said, one choice at a time. You are an amazing woman. Enjoy the time with your children. Smile more, worry less and enjoy life. It's not like we can get a do over if we don't like how we did it the first time.
Resa, he's perfect! I think you are an amazing woman, friend and mom. Please try not to be so hard on yourself... look who I'm talking to here! Of course you will, but you shouldn't. In fact, I think you should just change the name of your blog to "Radiant", because that's one work that describes you.
Love Ya!
ummm... thats suppose to be 'one word'. oops...
Dearest Resa,
Quinn is such a handsome sweet baby. You did good mommy! Please don't be hard on yourself- I can understand how you feel having gained back my weight plus some and I didn't even get a sweet baby out of it :) I know it's frustrating but you are here - at this place- at God's perfect time- it's for a reason He doesnt make mistakes.. You are loved and I will sincerely pray for WHATEVER direction God will lead you.. never forgetting waht truly truly matters my friend..
in Him,
Angel
Wednesday
February 18, 2009
5:55 p.m.
Hello Resa!
How are you and your little family doing?
Would love updated pictures of Quinn!
Best, Christine
Hi,
I am a follow reader of your blog and it has been exciting to see all the the Lord is doing in you and your family lives!! I know you r back up to 260 BUT you just had a baby : ) What ever way you go on eating when you decide to start losing weight again. I hope you blog it,and it will be a encouragement to others on there way to health. I am also on a weight loss journey! Blessing!
Friday
March 20, 2009
9:30 p.m.
Hi Resa, sweetie!
How are you doing? How is your little one doing?
I sure wish you would update your blog. It doesn't matter to me one single bit if you are not raw...I would just love to know you are okay and would love to see how big Quinn is getting (pics, please!).
I hope all is well with you and your little family, Christine
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